The Case Of The Flipping Implant

Spring Break has come to a close and my kids are back in school.  I wanted to go camping over the break but alas, it was not to be.  Between Easter and my latest medical malady we decided it would be better to postpone.  It’s been a little stressful lately due to a complication after my latest surgery (I cannot recall if I shared that here on the blog) and I’ve been struggling with what that could mean to my summer plans.  In a nutshell, my new and wonderful implants that I received in December have decided that they aren’t going to settle quietly, and one has decided it wants to do summersaults in my body.

What.  The.  Freaking.  Hell.  Is.  Happening.

Who the hell wakes up in the morning to an upside down boob?  Apparently out of 25+ years of patients at this particular office, only me.

In a nutshell, I can have surgery to correct it or leave it alone.  Surgery would mean yet another 6-8 week recovery period, more antibiotics and no guarantees that it won’t flip again.  Not looking like a yes from me so far.  At this point I’m leaning toward keeping my flip floppy boob, thanks.  I’ve been able to flip it back about 80% on two separate occasions.  It currently looks like a breast, so I’m good.  If it flips a third time, I’m going to need to reevaluate.

What Else Can Go Wrong?

Just fyi, don’t ever ask that.  Apparently the wayward boob was not enough for me to deal with and a few days ago I woke up with a horrific stabbing pain in my back.  Back pain is nothing new to me; it pretty much always aches in one form or fashion (motherhood perk, ya’ll), but this was new and different.  It hurt so bad it took my breath away.  Walking, sitting, standing; it didn’t seem to matter.  After a few days of trying to manage it myself and not doing very well, I finally went to the doctor.  He told me I have a bulging disc.

Greeeeat.

So basically no gym, no waist belt walking of dogs, no bending forward, no hammock, no lifting.  I’ll be doing some physical therapy but I’ve been ordered to baby myself for 6-8 weeks, especially if I want to do any hiking, camping or backpacking this summer.  I’m not good at babying myself.  I’m just not.  I hate lying around, I hate asking for help, it’s just not my forte.  But the summer is looming and we have big plans, so, I’m being good.  He told me I can swim, walk and have lots of massages and hot tub soaks, so I’ll take all of that, please.