As you know, we were supposed to go on a multi-state road trip this summer. The day we were to leave, a much beloved family member passed away. A few days later, another family member suffered a stroke. We decided to stay in our home state and grab a few days of camping here and there as we could, as it was just not the right time to be so far away from home. Hence the lack of spectacular mountainous views on our social media.
I’d also been sidelined with shoulder pain (right after my back thing seemed to have cleared up) and not doing much at the gym, for fear I would hurt things more. So I hit a bit of a slump. It has also rained for seemingly weeks straight, so everything combined has just had me feeling pretty low. There’s been more than a few days where I could accomplish little more than sitting on my bed, staring at the wall. When I get overwhelmed, I just stop. I haven’t been very good at concentrating on much of anything lately, even though there’s so much that needs to be done around here. I’m trying to celebrate any little victory I can–like today’s successful cleanup of my teenager’s room–to keep positivity flowing.
Time Marches On
I also put my oldest son on the van to Marine Corps boot camp last month. As he waved to us all I could see was a curly haired 2 1/2 year old running into daycare for the first time, barely glancing back at me. Just like back then, he was heading into a whole new world. And he was excited for it. I knew it was what he needed and what he wanted to do, but I choked back tears on the drive home. He will always be my baby.
Back To Basics
When difficult times arise, we must adapt. With the events of the last several weeks, I experienced what could be described as an emotional slamming of the brakes. There have been days where I literally felt almost paralyzed. I would start something, then just stop and sit down somewhere. One thought would lead to another, and all of a sudden an hour had passed. Maybe I’m too hard on myself, but I’ve felt overwhelmed for quite a while now. I needed to get back to basics. Unable to hit the trails and immerse myself in the woods lately for one reason or another, I had to look at the simplicity of what lay beyond our front door. So if this meant walking through the neighborhood with a couple of squabbling kids at a pace slower than I would’ve liked, then that’s what it was. It’s not terribly exciting or peaceful, but we are outside and getting exercise. Exercise=raised serotonin levels=what I needed.
I also realized that I hadn’t worked with Remi like I should have (the left shoulder being out of commission forced me to take it easy with the dogs), and that she was in desperate need of some basic obedience. She’s gotten quite big and her antics (jumping, ramming into the backs of people’s knees, counter surfing) were earning her the PITA (Pain In The Ass) Award around here. As soon as our obedience sessions resumed, she showed an immediate willingness to please and she’s been learning very quickly. Lots of walking keeps a young pup balanced and a weary me from hiding in the bathroom when shit happens.
With all of the above plus the kids out of school, I’m needing everything I can to keep me out of my bed. And so I return to what started this very blog in the first place. I just pick up the leash and move.